I recently came across this video that I shot off the balcony of the Hotel Sicilia in Enna, back in early October of 2018. And it brought me right back.
Last fall, when I tried to return to the hotel that had become my beloved Enna home, I was disappointed to learn that it had closed due to the need for extensive renovations. Fortunately I hadn’t known that the place was actually a massive fire trap when I’d been staying there right before its closure!
It would be difficult to explain how that hotel was the setting for some very special moments of growth, change, and inspiration. I’ll never forgot my time there, from my first view from the balcony, to the moments of joy and insight that came to me during the time I spent there.
Now, as I reflect not only about that time in my journey back in October of 2018, but also the sadness I felt the next year when I learned that it had closed, I realize that I had been living in a time of sweet naiveté. So much life has happened since then, things I could’ve never foreseen. Presently, we are only a handful of weeks into the Covid-19 lockdown, but it feels like it’s been an eternity. I’ve been watching and suffering along with Italia since February, feeling a sense of sad powerlessness that weighs on my heart so heavily.
How quickly things can change. Now, the landscape looks so different. Italy will be closed to tourism for several more months, and it’s unclear when the border will open. Many places— hotels, restaurants, cafes, stores— that were successful just a few months ago will never open their doors again. The piazzas may remain empty for many months more, and still nobody knows how long people will have to distance themselves from each other.
This video used to feel so moody and dramatic, in a suspenseful and romantic way. Now, the dim light and mountain fog seem forlorn and resigned. Perhaps it is time to remember that this land— Sicily, and Italia in general— has seen its way through so many waves of humanity: war, famine, and disease as well as prosperity, peace, and evolution. This is just one little slice of the story, as story in which our lives play such a minuscule part. What does that mean for us? While I ask myself that question every day, the best I can understand at this moment is… to be present, to listen, to stay calm, and to gather the strength that will be needed to make all the adjustments necessary for the world that is revealed when the dust settles. Also, I have a renewed resolve to press on with this work, as the #VENTICINQUE project has the power to shed light on the experience of being human in this world.
Until then, I will cherish my sweetest memories… like my moments on my little suspended balcony at the Hotel Sicilia in Enna. A part of me years to go back to that moment of happiness, before I had to confront all that has followed since then; part of me is still on that balcony, still breathing the air, still sending my heartfelt thoughts into the night and receive the most meaningful messages in return.
Ti amo, Italia. Ci vediamo presto.
